Your guy is ahead a little in the political race. Somebody blew something up in Iraq. North Korea is busy starving their people whilst building nukes. Rich people in the US need to pay less taxes because of reasons. There was a big flood somewhere. The economy is iffy, probably because rich people are paying too much in taxes. The schools are in trouble. There was an earthquake somewhere. Gas prices are up. They caught a pedophile. A prominent politician somewhere had an affair with someone. There is a new movie with car chase scenes. School or workplace mass murder. A new restaurant in your town. A car you'd like to buy, except it is gas-powered. Some kid crashed his car and died. Famous Hollywood couple getting divorced. Apple is suing because of reasons. The stock market did something. In 20 years, we'll all be bionic, with computers in our bottoms.
The only one I'm really interested in is that last one. Can't wait to be bionic! But what will the computers in our bottoms do? Regulate bowel movements? Make it possible to auto-tune our farts?
ReplyDeleteIn 2032, computers in our bottoms will analyze inputs from sensors that monitor stress hormones, blood sugar, blood pressure, fatty acids, as well as a host of other metabolic indicators. These data will be synthesized into a HUD that shows our current caloric burn rate, vitamin deficiencies, pending issues, etc. Additionally, pattern recognition software will notice if we are reaching for a cookie or muffin that is not optimal for our desired level of obesity.
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